Chrono Crossover Christmas
by nuclearfusion
Summary: Cloud drinks magic eggnog and finds himself with Magus. Yes, Magus is gay.
1. Chrono Crossover Christmas

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Chrono Crossover Christmas

By nuclearfusion

Warning, this fanfic contains explicit words used in expressing the desire to blow someone to smithereens with Dark Matter or Flying Arrow or else. So if you don't want to read this $h!t(<-- There's one!) then leave! You have been warned…

Also, please review me! This is my first fanfic on here. I've written some classics though, depends on how you look at it…

BEGIN…

Cloud sits patiently at the chimney. Now a little less patient. Now not patient at all... 

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Cloud: Arrrrrgh! Come damn you Santa!

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Tifa: Uh, Cloud? It's only Christmas Eve Eve. Or the day before Christmas Eve, however the hell you want to say it.

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Cloud: But I want my "Amazing Nudes Christmas Pack" from him.

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Tifa: [to self] Damn, the man's 21 and he still believes in Santa Claus. Waitaminute! What was that he said about a porno? I could kill hime for that!

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Cloud walks into the kitchen and rummages through the refrigerator…

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Cid: The hell you think you're doing? You better not be after my tea!

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Cloud: Shutup! I'm after this.

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Cloud holds up an insanely large bottle of eggnog. He takes a huge swig. He wipes off his lip only to find himself in another place. Another dimension perhaps.

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Cloud: How the hell did I get here. Hmmm… Maybe this eggnog…

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Voice: Who are you?

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Cloud: Huh?

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Magus: I am Magus, lord of evil, or so I wish… HEY! Is that eggnog?

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Cloud: NO! You can't have it! This is friggin' mine!

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Magus: Hell, I got some anyway. (takes huge drink of own eggnog)

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Cloud and Magus sit down and exchange manly banter while drinking eggnog. Pretty soon…

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Cloud: An' then ah said, " Who are you? You don't look like Poockums?"

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Cloud and Magus: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

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Magus: Tha' was funny as hel', man. But, man, I said, man, we can't trust the man, man. They be wantin' to take away our viewing rights. Urk! (feels call of nature) Hic! I've gotta go piss, man!

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Magus walks into the bushes…

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Magus: Ahhhhh….(writes name in snow with a- hem! "yellow marker")

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Magus completes his duty, only to find that his pants were missing.

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Magus: What the…?

What happened to Magus' pants? Did Cloud take them? Or did an incredibly fluffy and large pink bunny rabbit from space conspire with Sailor Venus to take them? Or was it(buh, buh, duh!) BARNEY!?! Find out in the next, at least three times as long, Crossover Christmas Special!

Look for part 2 coming soon to this category!(Game Crossovers!) Working on it NOW!


	2. Chrono Crossover Christmas - Part 2

Chrono Crossover Christmas

By nuclearfusion

Part 2

A short note: This time around, the fic will not be in a scripted format. This is due to a request on a single review. BUT- you can describe better in this format, and this is what I'll use for a while now. Also, check out "[The Mystery of Cloud's Hair: Part 1][1]". For your query, I only do my fics in parts because I'm to lazy to write it all at once. Hey! I'll take these down after a while and put a new "one file" story! What a great idea that many have had before…"

Last time…

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Cloud and Magus sit down and exchange manly banter while drinking eggnog. Pretty soon…

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Cloud: An' then ah said, " Who are you? You don't look like Poockums?"

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Cloud and Magus: Hahahahahahahahahaha!

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Magus: Tha' was funny as hel', man. But, man, I said, man, we can't trust the man, man. They be wantin' to take away our viewing rights. Urk! (feels call of nature) Hic! I've gotta go piss, man!

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Magus walks into the bushes…

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Magus: Ahhhhh….(writes name in snow with a- hem! "yellow marker")

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Magus completes his duty, only to find that his pants were missing.

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Magus: What the…?

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Magus storms back to the campsite, finding Cloud up against a rock. "What the hell are you doing?" Magus asks? "Waz it look like?" Cloud replies. Magus shakes his head. "You're disgusting…"

Cloud looks up. "Me?!? You're the one without pants!"

"Oh yeah! Did you take 'em?" Magus demanded. Cloud shakes his head, and with that, shakes off the hangover. "No, but I saw a bunch of giant pink bunny rabbits and Sailor V walk past here." Magus stares ahead. " No. You were drunk. Too bad though. I LOOOVE Sailor Moon Anime… Hey!" Magus rummages in the abyss of his now frigid sleeping bag. After about 20 minutes, he hits paydirt. "Alright! My Sailor Moon Hentai manga!"

Cloud gazes in awe. " I was wanting that for Christmas in my "Amazing Nudes Christmas Pack"…

Both of them stare into space, in fantasies unmatched. In Cloud's, he is with Naru. An in Magus', he was with, you guessed it, Mamoru. Magus moaned. "Yes! Mamoru!"

(No this is not a lemon. Keep reading.)

Cloud glances at him with that sidewards look. "What did you just say?" Magus looks back and forth plaintively(?) and tries to cover it up. "Uh, I meant Minako! Yeah, that's it!"

Cloud looks into his eyes(no it's not lemon darnit. Shutup and read) and sees the truth. "You meant Mamoru, didn't you?"

Magus crumbles, both physically and mentally. "OK! I'm gay alright! But please help me find my pants!"

"Huh? You really lost 'em? I thought you were just trying to seduce me."

"SHUTUP!"

Later on, in Tokyo, Mina packs a bag, containing 4 shirts, 4 pants, 1 blouse, 1 _short_ skirt, a bottle of contraceptives just in case, a…why are we looking in her bag anyway? The point is, though, that Magus' pants indeed are in there. A large pink bunny rabbit stands guard at the door, in hopes that Magus tries to rescue his beloved pants, and it will get to beat the hell out of him. Unfortunatly, he doesn't. At the Airport, Mina meets her friends Serena, Rei, Lita, and Ami, along with the resident talking cats, Luna, Artemis, and Diana. They depart to an Island known as Hyrule. Little do they know, Magus and Cloud are trailing them in the Epoch.

Once again, I am too lazy to write more, so until next time, good riddance. See you in Part 3! 

   [1]: http://www.fanfiction.net/index.fic?action=story-read&storyid=181574



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